Star Wars Drinking Game
To play the Star Wars Drinking game, you will need:
Begin by inserting your weatherbeaten "Star Wars" videotape
into the big slot on your VCR. Play the tape. Dim the lights for
dramatic effect if you haven't already. The game begins right as
"20th Century Fox" appears.
Basically, every time one of the listed events occurs,
everybody takes a sip of their drink. If you are using alcoholic
beverages, I really don't recommend emptying a whole glass each
time. You will lose conciousness before Vader even says "Don't
underestimate the Force".
- The Star Wars Trilogy on tape (one movie for a short game)
- An ample supply of your favorite beverage (milk, right?)
- A really good sound system, so the explosions seem to happen all around you. Kapow! (optional)
The game ends when a bunch of Ewoks start dancing. No matter
what you've been drinking, you will remember this image. The last
person to give up drinking on each cue is the winner. Of course,
ties are possible.
If at some point you find that no one can successfully operate
the VCR anymore, the game may as well be abandoned.
- Someone has a bad feeling about this.
- It's their only hope.
- An entire planet is described as having one climate.
- Somebody gets choked.
- a woman other than Leia is on screen
- An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force. (Vader counts.)
- Somebody's hand gets cut off.
- A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast.
- There is a tremor in the Force.
- It's not someone's fault
- One or more heroes are almost eaten by a Thing
- A Jedi is much more powerful than he looks
- Someone exclaims "No!"
- Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be
a good idea
- Someone wears the same outfit in all three movies--it counts if
they change at the end
- Someone is mind-controlled using the Force
- People kiss
- A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black
- Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black (for
uniforms-- only the first person on screen counts)
- Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray
- Every time you find yourself talking to the people on screen
- An elaborately made up alien has no lines
- Someone or something tries to get money from Han
- Some ship crashes into something after being hit.
- Someone has a light saber duel (includes just using light saber)
- An Ewok dies, and the camera lingers longer than it did when the
Death Star exploded, killing billions of people. (Fourteen
- It is Luke's destiny.
- Luke whines.
- Luke discovers a long-lost relative.
- Luke fights monsters or savages.
- Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip.
- Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm.
- Luke is upside-down
- Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time
- Twice if they speak to each other
- Luke's parentage is Foreshadowed
- Luke refuses to take someone's advice
- Luke yells "Artooooo!"
- Leia insults somebody.
- Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands
- Twice if it covers her neck
- Three times if she's almost totally nude
- Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective. ("...Only Imperial Stormtroopers
are so precise.")
- Han brags about the Millenium Falcon.
- Anybody insults the Millenium Falcon.
- Something doesn't work on the Falcon
- Twice if it's the hyperdrive
- Yoda uses bad grammar.
- Yoda talks like a fortune cookie.
- R2-D2 gets thrashed.
- R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around.
- C-3PO loses a body part. (Take two drinks if he is completely
- C-3PO informs us of just how many forms of communication he's
- A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white
- Twice if they're non human (co-pilots count)
- A Rebel Pilot says "Nice Shot..."
- A Rebel Pilot says "I've been hit..."
- Tarkin brags about the Death Star.
- The Emperor cackles evilly.
- The Emperor has foreseen something.
- Vader runs into one of his kids and doesn't recognize them
- Twice if he tries to kill them
- Boba Fett talks.
- Stormtroopers shoot everywhere but where they're aiming.
- Stormtrooper armor proves useless.
- Any Imperial Ship is destroyed
- A TIE fighter explodes for no reason.
As a bonus gift, I've included another game designed
especially for non-drinkers.
The Star Wars Drinking Game For Mormons
The rules are basically the same as the other game but the
drinking cues are different. Drink when:
- Stormtroopers display intelligence, courage, or training in
- Multiple Ewoks are killed.
- Fantastic technology is explained.
- Somebody listens to C-3PO.
- Somebody cares about the environment.
- The Emperor acts like a charming politician.
- A woman is on screen, and an Imperial
- A tie pilot says something